A Demon, a Goddess & a Muse: Arizona's Absurdly Disturbing Alternative
by Zenparadox
Summary: In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness. (Knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer helpful!)
1. Chapter 1: Hot From Hell

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Note**: This is just a little diversion as we wait for the real aftermath to begin. Bring. It. Shonda. A knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Vengeance Demons, specifically, is helpful, but not necessarily required. Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.

**Note 2**: First time fanfic writer.

* * *

_"And Caesar's spirit, ranging for revenge,_

_With Atë' by his side come hot from Hell,  
Shall in these confines with a monarch's voice_

_Cry "Havoc!" and let slip the dogs of war, ..."_

Arizona sits at the hotel bar all alone, the storm is over, having blown itself out sometime early this morning. The aftermath, however, is only just beginning. She had checked into the Archfield after Callie had refused to talk to her all day, except to yell, extremely loudly, about Arizona's indiscretion- in front of everyone. After being thoroughly humiliated at work, she decides drinking alone is her best course of action.

So sit and drink she does, stewing in her hurt and anger and humiliation. Running her fingers though her hair she grabs ahold and pulls tight allowing the pain wash over her. Pain. _Pain is good_. The physical pain takes away all that mental anguish that is trying to crush her brain, even if just for a second. Sighing deeply, she motions to the bartender for a refill.

She notices a woman approaching her, medium brown hair, smartly dressed, with a vintage looking pendant around her neck. Her eyes held a mirth that Arizona was in no mood for.

"Hi, my name is A..." the woman started.

"I don't care what your name is. I don't want to know you and I don't want to talk to you." Arizona interrupted. _And you don't want to know me._

"Hey, no need for rudeness. It's just. I could feel your pain from all the way..." She points vaguely over her shoulder in the direction of the restroom. "It was calling to me."

"My pain was calling you? From the toilet?"

"What? No. I was not- I wasn't on the toilet. I was far, far away from... the toilet. "

Arizona managed a garbled chuckle and a serious eye roll.

The stranger raises her eyebrows, "I don't talk to people much. I mean, I talk to them, but they don't talk to me. Except to say, 'Your questions are irksome' and 'Perhaps you should take your drinks and your literal interpretations to the other side of the bar'."

Arizona sighs and turns to stare the woman in the eye, and with a slight tilt of her head, gives her best leave-me-alone look. Bailey would be proud. "Sounds reasonable to me."

The woman persists "I was just trying to be nice, you know. You look sad, and I know what it's like to be hurt by someone." After a pause, "My fiancée left me at the altar, then my whole town fell into a sinkhole, then I kind of… had to, uh… split?" The woman visibly shivers, "For a while."

Arizona blinks, hardening her features once again, but listening. The woman takes this as permission to continue.

"Let's just say, in my line of work, you don't stay… hmm…" The woman pauses, as if trying to find a suitable word. "_Gone_… for very long. So I've recently been drafted, along with some newbie drama queen, who thinks she knows it all, back into the ven… er, _consultant_ business. It's kind of depressing, but the benefits are good." Arizona stares at the woman, face unreadable. "Oh, I kind of made that all about me, didn't I? Look, I know we aren't friends, we aren't even acquaintances, but I do... have ears. Plus, sometimes it's easier with a stranger, right?"

"Ha!" Arizona laughs, covering her face with her hands and rubbing her eyes.

She looks back at the woman and swallows hard. "I'm the one that did the hurting, I cheated on my wife. And then blamed _her_ for it." She picks up her drink, giving it a swirl, and downs it. "And yeah, strange women seem to be my ruin."

The woman seems surprised by this revelation.

"Hmm, that's different. Are you sure your wife didn't cheat on you? Because you are giving off some serious 'woman scorned' vibes."

"Nope. I'm a big old cheater" Arizona sighs. "That's me. Betrayer of vows, and a one-legged vessel of hatred. Anger and humiliation are my friends."

"Ok, not my usual turf. First of all, lesbians aren't my specialty, the new chick, however, is all over them… My services are usually used to make reprisals toward men, but, with all the shuffling at headquarters- maybe I was the only one available…?" the woman ruminates to herself. She waves her hand in front of her face and shakes her head as if to indicate that line of thinking was not for Arizona's purview. "Anyway," She continues, "_that level of pain,_ I can work with." The woman grins and takes the seat next to Arizona.

"What does that even mean? Are you a shrink or a prostitute?" Arizona asks.

"Something like that. Tell me about your leg. How did you lose it?"

"Don't you think that's a little personal?" startled and slightly offended, Arizona openly glares at the woman.

"Well, you brought it up. You can't just call yourself… what was it? A 'one-legged vessel of hatred' and not expect curiosity on my part. I'm only human, after all."

Arizona looks at the woman, sizing her up. Wondering if she could tell a stranger her story. Her thoughts are interrupted when the bartender returns, this time with two drinks. One for her, and one for her now companion.

The woman just stares, a slight grin on her face, eyebrows raised. She nods a bit in encouragement as she waits for Arizona to respond.

Arizona sits, stubbornly refusing to say anything, she fiddles with her drink, picks at the napkin, bites at her nail, side eyes the woman again- who is still sitting there… with that face.

_Just say it._ "Plane crash." Arizona simply states.

"Oh." The woman says, sounding slightly disappointed. "Well. That's… surprisingly mundane." the woman exhales "I was hoping for something outrageous, like a shark attack, or maybe a bear. Definitely something involving an animal. Are you sure you didn't poke a bear?"

As the woman continues her musings on any and all animal attacks that could result in loss of limb, Arizona gapes, not sure how to react.

"I'm sorry my trauma isn't traumatic enough for you." Arizona finally replies. "You can leave anytime you like... as a matter fact, why don't you?" At the woman's confused expression, Arizona clarifies, "Leave."

"You _are_ an angry one, aren't you?" the peculiar woman asks. "I'm not leaving, until I've heard the tragic conclusion. So whose fault was it? Was the pilot drunk? Is that who you're so angry with? Do you wish he had…?"

"It was no one's fault. Shit happens." Arizona says, then after a pause "I would say 'excuse my language,' but I don't really care what you think."

"Why were you on the plane?"

"Can we not talk about the plane crash? Just… anything but the crash. Please?" Arizona asks.

"Tell me about your wife then. Why did you cheat?" Arizona flinches, waves of anger and remorse pouring off of her. She closes her eyes trying to get her emotions under control.

"Oh wow. I can feel that." The woman visibly shivers, "It's like my skin is crawling. Why are you so resentful towards her? What did she do to you? Is she a bitch? I bet she's a real bitch… Oh. My. God." she gasps. "She wouldn't have sex with you because you only have one leg? That's it, right? No wonder you are so mad at her." The woman proudly states, sure she's hit the nail on the head.

"What? No, she… she loves me. She tried so hard to save it, to save me..."

"What do you mean, to save it? How?" the woman leans forward eagerly awaiting more.

"She's a surgeon, an orthopedic surgeon, a rock star. She works miracles," Arizona mutters, getting emotional "every day- she works miracles. Just… not on me." Arizona sighs, "She promised, you know? She promised me she wouldn't cut it off, but in the end…"

"She betrayed you."

"Yes." Arizona simply states.

The woman smiles and gestures for the bartender to bring more alcohol. "Tell me more."

And Arizona did. For the next two hours she talks, and drinks, and talks some more. She tells the nameless mystery woman her entire life story. She tells of her childhood, the constant moving, of never making long-term connections- of never needing them. She tells of her beloved brother and his tragic death, and how her and her family _didn't_ deal with it. She talks of medical school, old girlfriends, and old dreams.

"I was something, you know? I was going to travel and save kids and not be tied down. I was going to have sangrias. I won a Carter Madison grant. No one does that." Arizona drunkenly slurs. "I was saving babies in Africa, and now I have one leg, and pain, and everything is so hard. I just want it to not be hard anymore. I just want... something to be different."

Arizona goes quiet- the woman stays silent, sensing Arizona's need to reflect.

"I have a daughter," Arizona continues "who is amazing. She is such a miracle. And I am ruining her. I am. Me. This person I've become. Filled with anger and self-pity and hate. I'm destroying her life and she isn't even aware of it. She has no idea what I've done. My beautiful sweet baby." Arizona sobs. "She'd be better off without me."

Still the woman waits, not saying a word.

Arizona's face hardens again. "I'm so angry at the turn my life has taken, it wasn't supposed to be like this. I never wanted any of this. And you know, I think I've finally figured it out, what my problem is?"

The woman turns away, instinctively knowing this is what she's been waiting for all night.

"It's...Callie." Arizona fumes, her anger consuming her. "She made me want this, she changed me… it's her fault. None of this would have happened if I didn't love her so much. If I had just stayed in Africa, stayed away from her. I... I wish… I wish I'd stayed in Africa."

The woman turns back to Arizona, who gasps to see that the stranger's face has suddenly become very wrinkly, brutal and deformed looking, the embodiment of Anyanka, Patron Saint of all women scorned.

"Done."


	2. Chapter 2: Delusion and Folly

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Note**: This is just a little diversion as we wait for the real aftermath to begin. Bring. It. Shonda. A knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Vengeance Demons, specifically, is helpful, but not necessarily required. Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.

* * *

_He caught by the shining hair of her head the goddess Ate in the anger of his heart, and swore a strong oath, that never after this might Ate, who deludes all, come back to Olympos and the starry sky. _

With a groan, Arizona tries unsuccessfully to sit up in the bed, her head pounding and her eyes refusing to open. _How much did I drink last night? _ Trying again to open her eyes, this time with a little more success, she blinks a few times, squinting at the light coming through the bedroom window. _Wait. Bedroom window? _

"Arizona? Arriiizooona! Wake up, dear it's almost eleven. You need to get your jet lagged tush out that bed." The door to Arizona's bedroom cracks open and her mother's head pokes through. "Oh, good, you're awake. You have that meeting in a few hours, and honestly sweetie, you look like crap on a cracker. You need coffee and a shower. I don't know why you would schedule a meeting on your first day..." Barbara trails off, noticing the panic stricken face of her daughter.

"Mom? What… where, uh how… where am I?" she looks around the room frantically for something, anything, to tell her what is going on.

"Arizona? What's the matter with you? I know it's the first time you've been in _this_ house since we moved, but… honesty, you'd think you recognize the bed you've slept in since you were a child."

"No, it's not… that, it's… how did I get here?"

The last thing she remembers is her life spiraling out of control and her stupidly trying to gain back that control by… _Oh my God, I cheated on Callie._ Her stomach lurches. She jumps from the bed, grabs the nearby trashcan, and empties her stomach. That's when she notices it. _My leg. What the fu…_

"Arizona! You're sick... What did you eat on the plane?" Barbara walks over to Arizona and puts her hand on her daughter's forehead. "Or maybe you picked something up at the airport?" She turns toward the door, and shouts, "Daniel, get up here, Arizona's sick!"

Arizona's head is spinning, she can hear nothing but the sound of blood rushing in her ears, her tongue thick in her mouth, her vision dims. _What is happening to me? _She blinks at her mother, trying to focus.

"Arizona, sweetie, you are worrying me."

_Focus Arizona, focus_. _Think. I was at the hotel, drinking… and talking? To a woman, a really strange woman… I made a wish. Oh my god, I made a wish… to that woman. She was, like... a good fairy. A scary, veiny... good fairy. And now I have my leg. And… No, that's not even possible. Maybe it was a dream… the plane crash, my leg… _Arizona starts rubbing her leg, running her hands down her thigh, over her knee, down to her foot and back up. _That's it, it was all a dream. It was…_

Daniel comes in, interrupting Arizona's inner musings and Barbara's worried babbling, "What's going on? Arizona? Is everything okay?"

"I'm fine… I think. I think I'm good. Just tired, and a bit confused." Arizona lies. _Actually I'm a lot confused._

"I knew it was a bad idea for you to take one of your father's sleeping pills when you got here last night. Those things do weird stuff to people."

"Barbara," Daniel interrupts. "She's a doctor, she knows if she can handle an Ambien or not."

"Well, I saw this news report about a truck driver who drove from DC to Boston and back, all while asleep. You didn't drive anywhere last night did you?"

"I'm pretty sure I didn't." _But maybe I had an Ambien induced hallucination of a life in which I was in a plane crash and lost my leg. That's more likely than a scary fairy granting me a wish... still... _

"Barbie, leave her alone. She's been back in the country for less than 12 hours, after being on a plane for 18, give her a little slack." Daniel says.

"Oh, look at the Colonel, giving slack." Barbara mocks with a smile and a wink at Arizona. "Yes, sir." She salutes.

Arizona grins at her parent's teasing, feeling lighter than she has in months.

"Wait, what's today?" Arizona asks.

"It's Thursday, dear, are you sure you're okay?" Barbara responds, concern returning to her face.

"I'm fine, I'm sure… but, what's the date, uh, and year?" _ If I've been in Africa, why can't I remember anything about it?_

"May 18, 2013. And if I'm not mistaken you have an appointment at the hospital in…" Daniel checks his watch, "just over two hours. I've mapped it out, and depending on traffic, I can get us there in about an hour, ten minutes. So, you best get moving, sweet pea." He pats his daughter on the back. "It's good to have you home Arizona, three years is a long time."

"It's good to be home, Dad." _It's really, really good._

* * *

After rushing to get ready, not allowing herself to think too much, Arizona finds herself sat in the passenger seat of her Dad's truck, feeling a little- _no, a lot_- nervous. She had no idea what was going on, why her parents were here, or what this appointment she was going to was all about.

Trying to not sound too out of it, Arizona asks "So, Dad, uh… how, uh, how are you liking it here? Uh, in Washington state."

Daniel chuckles "You sure you're okay, sweet pea?" At Arizona's affirmative nod, he continues "I love it, retiring up here was the best decision I've made in a long time. And you know, your mother hates the rain, but the possibility of you being close helped seal the deal. She's counting on you getting your old job back. So, don't blow this meeting," he says with a wink.

_Ah, so that's what…_

* * *

"Arizona Robbins. Aren't you a sight? Africa has sure been good to you, you look like a new woman."

"Dr. Bailey… Miranda. I _am_ a new woman." Arizona smiles, dimples on full display. _Honestly, you have no idea._

"I didn't know my meeting was with you." Arizona reveals.

"Oh yeah, the Chief asked me to come woo you, get you back here. We need good people like you." Bailey responds, with a smile and for a second she looks almost… _wistful_?

"What, I'm not important enough for Hunt to woo me himself?" Arizona teases.

"Hunt?" Bailey scoffs, "You _have _been out of touch."

At Arizona's confused look Bailey smiles "Come on, let's get some lunch and I'll catch you up."

Arizona tries to look around to see if she can see… _No, I'm not looking for her. She doesn't need me, besides, she's probably happily married to someone else... Someone who doesn't cheat._

They step onto the elevator and the doors shut to reveal the big smiling- _smug, if you ask me_- face of Jackson Avery. Arizona involuntarily jumps back and looks to Bailey in question.

Bailey grumbles, "Yeah, the new face of the hospital."

* * *

"The lasagna is still tolerable, but avoid the taco meat at all costs. Budget cuts. We had an outbreak from the stuff last Halloween- things got weird." Bailey informs Arizona as they wait in the food line. "The salad bar is usually my go-to, when I don't bring lunch. Can't ruin lettuce."

After paying for their salads, Bailey leads Arizona over to a corner table where they could have a semblance of privacy. Arizona sees a few familiar faces, but it's past the lunch rush, so the cafeteria is mostly empty. _Don't ask about Callie. Don't ask about Callie. Don't…_

"So."

"So." They both start, and Arizona can't help but grin. "You go first Bailey, I don't really have anything to share." _Except the memories of three years that, apparently, didn't happen._

"Well, as you can see the hospital is in a transition, being bought out by Pegasus…" Bailey starts.

"Wait, _Pegasus_ is buying the hospital?" Arizona shouts, looking around, embarrassed, then says again in an almost whisper "I thought… uh, never mind, I don't know what I thought."

"Well after the plane crash and law suit…"

Arizona starts to feel dizzy again, her mind racing while Bailey continues talking. "…bankruptcy… no one was willing to take the chance. They almost had to shut the doors."

"P-p-plane crash?" Arizona manages to stutter.

"Did you live in a cave in Africa? It was all over the news. How can you not know any of this?"

"No, I… I tried to avoid..."

"Well, long story short – we were sending a group of doctors to Boise to separate some conjoined twins. Sloan, Shepherd, Yang, Grey, Little Grey, and..."

"The plane crashed." Arizona interrupts, her stomach rolling.

"Yes." Bailey answers. "The hospital was liable, Hunt, he… He tried to hold everything together."

Bailey continues, "But Alex Karev and Lexie Grey _died_, Arizona. And the rest? They were a mess. No one came out unscathed. It was all so horrible."

"Wait, Alex died on the plane?" _No. No. No. That's not- that's not what happened…_

"Yeah, well, he survived the crash, but he never regained consciousness," Bailey said gently. "He succumbed to his injuries shortly after they were rescued. I'm sorry, I know you were mentoring him before you left." Arizona's stomach lurched, her breathing becoming labored. _Jesus_.

"Yang left for Mayo and never looked back, her and Hunt divorced."

"Where is Owen?" Arizona interrupts.

"No idea. He resigned after he secured the Pegasus deal, the new Chief is nice, but tough as nails, Alana Cahill- ever heard of her?"

At Arizona's negative head shake, she continues "she runs a tight ship, but the hospital is still here, so I guess we can't complain."

"Why- why didn't the survivors try to buy the hospital?" Arizona asks

"Wow," Bailey scoffs, "That is an out-there idea- as far as I know, that idea never entered anyone's mind. Besides, Shepherd's nerve damage was so severe, he'll never pick up another scalpel- and Grey had already failed her boards… and, with the loss of her sister… They're in Boston, he's teaching at Harvard. None of them could stand to be around here anymore. Except Sloan…" Arizona's unease increasing, she looks up at the mention of Mark.

A look of sorrow crosses Bailey's face and she shakes her head, with a sigh she continues. "Mark, well, Mark lost his leg in the crash. He hasn't returned to work, not that we haven't tried to get him back."

Guilt and gloom creeping up her skin making her feel dizzy again. _Stop_. _Don't think about it. Just, don't._ _It's not your fault, just…_ "How is he?" she asks, grabbing the edge of the table to ground herself. _Are he and Callie togethe_r? _Jesus, STOP it. _She can't help herself.

"All things considered he's doing okay, adjusting physically… He's had a tougher time accepting it all emotionally. That ego of his is pretty damaged. But that's his story to tell…" Arizona's grip on the table is causing her knuckles to whiten. Trying to calm herself she waits for Bailey to continue.

"He's here, actually, doing his therapy today…" Bailey leads.

"Oh, um, maybe I'll see him. After we…" Arizona sighs. "Bailey, everything is so…"

"Messed up, yeah... That's why we need you back, we need a little happiness around here."

Trying a lighter subject Arizona asks "What about you? Are you, uh, remarried?"

"Nah, for a while, I thought maybe Dr. Warren, the gasman… Remember him? I thought maybe we were headed there- but he up and took a surgical internship in California. Can you believe that? At his age. I just- I don't have time or the patience for long distance."

They start eating their previously ignored salads, Arizona digesting everything she's learned so far. She keeps looking up at Bailey, then back at her salad.

_Don't ask about Callie. Don't ask about Callie. Please, tell me about Callie._

"Oh! I did get a bit of good news today." Bailey blurts, startling Arizona from her internal musings. "Meredith Grey had a baby. Yang sent me a text that said 'Mere, spawn, yesterday, boy.' I'm hoping Mark has a little more information, if I see him today."

Arizona gives a genuine smile and asks "How's Zola?"

"Who?" an extremely confused Bailey asks.

_Crap. I have to watch out for that. So much is different. Grey and Shepherd never met their baby girl…_

At the thought of baby girls, Arizona swallows hard, her thoughts once again return to Callie and Sofia. Willing her mind not to go there. _It's too much. Too much._

"Arizona?" Bailey questions, "who…"

"No one Bailey, never mind." Arizona insists "Tell me more about..."

"Robbins!" Arizona looks up, startled to see Mark Sloan across the cafeteria making his way toward them. _He's walking well…_

She gets up from her chair attempting to give him a warm hug. He stops her short, pointing to the chair, "I'm tired, and I need to sit."

"Oh, of course, please lets…"

Interrupting, Mark smirks at Bailey "Did you hear about my godson? What they named him? Cornelius. Cornelius Grey Shepherd."

"Cornelius? Well, that's a perfectly…"

"Corny. It's a perfectly corny and pretentious name, for a corny and pretentious Shepherd baby." Mark grumbles, but with a smile. "Hello, my name is Corny. Nice to meet you." He mocks, snickering at his own pun. His smile drops when he looks back at Arizona.

Turning back to Bailey, "Apparently, Meredith told the doctor- if he got the baby out safe," Mark pauses, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down as he swallows. "She, uh, she said she'd name the kid after him- she didn't take into account the awfulness of his name." he finally continues.

"Grey is a woman of her word. And the name is… fine, Sloan. Why don't you grab some lunch and join us, I'm catching Arizona up on the last three years."

"No thanks, I refuse to eat this slop. I'm going to Joe's, but I wouldn't be opposed to a chat with our returning prodigal daughter." Mark says, a bit of an edge to his voice. "Join me after?"

_Why is he mad at me? I mean, he doesn't know I wished this on him… Wait, I didn't wish this on him, I just- wished it *not* on me. _

"Sure, Mark." Arizona responds, "I'll meet you at Joe's when I finish up here." That's when she sees the wedding band on his finger.

_Wait, Mark is married? Who...? Well, crap. I guess Callie is destined to be married to an amputee. _


	3. Chapter 3: Path to Ruin

Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Note**: This is just a little diversion as we wait for the real aftermath to begin. Bring. It. Shonda. A knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Vengeance Demons, specifically, is helpful, but not necessarily required. Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.

**Note 2**: **Warning: We are now getting to the REALLY UNPLEASANT part of the Wish!Verse. Remember, Vengeance Demons are like Genies or Shonda- you get what you ask for in the **_**worst possible way**_**. **Don't string me up just yet, two chapters of this, then we get the humorous conclusion. Again, I love Calzona, and all will be well, or at the very least, as good as Shonda left them…

_"A shudder steals over me as I hear these prayers. Doom has long been waiting, but it will come in answer to those who pray. Ah, inbred trouble and bloody stroke of Atë striking a discord! Ah, lamentable and grievous sorrows! Ah, the unstaunched pain! Our house has a cure to heal these woes, a cure not from outside, from the hands of others, but from itself, by fierce, bloody strife."_

Mark takes his leave, allowing Bailey and Arizona finish up their lunch; they mostly move the conversation to work issues, carefully avoiding the one topic Arizona can't stop thinking about_- it's like Bailey is purposefully not mentioning her. I should just ask… So, Bailey how was Mark and Callie's wedding? Did you officiate? Oh, no, wait… they could get married in the Catholic Church… I bet Lucia was beside herself, and Carlos' wallet took a hit. Ok, Arizona, STOP!_

Arizona slams her fist onto her left thigh, causing Bailey to stop mid-sentence and stare, mouth agape.

"Sorry, Bailey… my, uh, leg's asleep." _My leg._

"Oh, ok." Bailey nods in understanding. "Now, as I was saying about the new procedure for…"

"You know what, Bailey? I think I'm going to go. I'll, um, think about all this. You did an excellent job with the wooing. But I'm still jet-lagged… and Mark is waiting…" _To shatter my heart._

"Ok" Bailey concedes, "I know when to shut my mouth. Just, don't forget to stop by the chief's office and make an appointment to talk to her. If you don't, she'll disparage my wooing skills."

* * *

After setting up a meeting with Chief Cahill for the following day, Arizona departs Seattle Grace Mercy West- _or is it Seattle Pegasus now- _and makes her way toward Joe's. The walk is a familiar one, even if Arizona hadn't done it in 3 years. _Wait, no… it's not been 3 years, not for me… _

Entering the bar, the familiarity of the place brings a smile to Arizona's face. _This is where I met her._ Looking around the bar Arizona sees a couple of the interns-_ the one that Alex likes, and the weird one that followed me around with a wheelchair... Why can't I remember their names?_ She stands there, staring, trying to remember. Suddenly she becomes unfocused, the faces of the interns morph into those of the doctors she worked with in Africa, but they were different-older, the hair is longer. One turns to her, smiling- _Jeffries, that's his name_- and asks "Are you looking for someone?"

Arizona blinks and the faces morph back to those of the interns. "I'm sorry, what?"

"I asked if you were looking for someone, you were staring at us." Alex's girl asks.

"Oh, I'm sorry… I uh, I can't remember your names?" Arizona stammers. _What the hell?_

They exchange a look of confusion and amusement- the weird one giggling, "Um, we've never met before, I'm not sure how you would even know our names." _Huh_._ I guess we haven't met… I could have sworn…_

"Robbins. Over here!" Mark calls from secluded spot in the back of the bar. "Took you long enough."

"I'm sorry Mark, it's been a really strange day. I just…"

"Did you see her?" he interrupts, almost reverently.

Arizona didn't need to ask to know who he was talking about. "No. I didn't make it up to Ortho, Bailey and I never actually made it out of the cafeteria. She talked my ear off about all the new hospital procedures and rules in General and Peds, even Neuro, but…" she answers. _She never once mentioned Ortho. She avoided it like the plague. Bailey was avoiding a lot…_

Mark sighs, "Well, it looks like we have a lot to catch up on then, Blondie, but first let's get out of here. I've been sitting on my ass all afternoon waiting for you, I need to walk." He starts scooting out of the booth, a bit awkwardly, but not overly so.

At Arizona's glance down at his leg, he grumbles "I'm not going to talk about the leg, Arizona- that's none of your business. It has nothing to do with you."

Slightly taken aback, but not at all offended, Arizona responds "Believe me Mark, I understand not wanting to talk about it. It's private, I get it." She looks him in the eyes and really takes him in. _It's the same look I see when I look in the mirror._ At that, she has to look away, ashamed she doesn't feel more remorse for him.

* * *

Strolling down the familiar street brings a sense of calm over her. They pass by an indie bookstore that Arizona used to frequent with her family._ I loved to take Sofia to that bookstore, the children's section is magical… Another thing I haven't done with my wife and child since the crash…_

"Are we headed anyplace in particular or are we just walking, Mark?" Arizona asks, breaking the silence they'd fallen into since leaving Joe's.

"Well, first, we are going in here" Mark replies, indicating the quaint little florist shop that sits next to the bookstore, "then we are going to visit my wife." Not waiting for a response, Mark turns and enters the shop.

Arizona takes a deep breath. _His wife. _She closes her eyes and leans against the door of the shop, trying to control the panic settling in the pit of her stomach. _This is going to be harder than I thought._

At last seated alongside Mark in his car, Arizona's nerves start getting the better of her. He notices her fidgeting and keeps glancing in her direction. "Will you settle down, I'm not going to kidnap you or do anything unseemly. And it's my left leg, I can drive just fine."

The mention of his leg brings Arizona out of her anxious silence. "Oh, no, Mark. I would never… I know you can drive. It's just…" She looks back toward the hospital, which is the opposite of the way they are going. "Where are we going?"

"Lake View Cemetery." _Oh God._

"Wait, you said… Uh, we were going to see your wife. Who… what?" Arizona stammers. _Please_.

"We are. Lexie's buried there." He chances another glance at Arizona, whose breathing has increased and eyes are closed, trying to figure her out. "You knew she died in the plane crash, right?"

She rights her breathing and looks over at Mark, trying to contain her relief out of respect for the man who'd lost his wife. _But I've lost mine too….No, you left yours- wished her away._ Physically shaking her head to clear that thought, Arizona continues, "Well, yes, Bailey told me. I just… I didn't know you were married to Lexie. I just assumed…"

"That I'd die a lonely manwhore?" He grumps. "You still may get your wish."

"No, Mark. No. I just thought. I kind of thought you and Callie were, you know, together." Arizona sighs "Ah hell, I don't know what to think, Mark. I have no idea what has happened here while I was away, I'm in a constant state of confusion. And I know, I have no right to be concerned, because I'm the one that chea- uh, left her, but I'm scared to death to ask about Callie."

Mark looks over at her, this time with sympathy in his eyes. "You really don't know anything about the past three years, do you?"

"I really don't." Arizona starts to cry, "None of this is right Mark- everything is different. It's all wrong. Callie… I just… I need to know."

"And I'll tell you, ok? I'll tell you everything, only… It's not a conversation for driving. I promise, I'll tell you… just let me take Lexie her flowers." He peeks over again, "You look gross, Arizona, there are tissues in the glove box, use them."

"Ok. Thank you, Mark." She sniffs, wipes her eyes and nose, and stares out the window.

* * *

Upon arriving at the cemetery and parking Mark's car, it wasn't long before they were standing in front of a headstone marked: **Alexandra Caroline Grey; Beloved Sister, Friend, Healer**. Mark removed the old bouquet from the permanent vase and gently put the fresh flowers in place. He looked over and noticed the quizzical look on Arizona's face.

"We weren't actually married, in the legal sense, so, Thatcher wouldn't put 'wife' on the headstone. We had just reconciled. There wasn't time before…" He trails off, his voice getting heavy. "But we were in our hearts- always had been. We just… we were stubborn, and had a lot to forgive each other for before we finally came together. But those few months before the crash? The best of my life. She made me whole again. I wear the ring to remind me of that."

"I'm so sorry Mark, I wish…" _Wish._ Arizona puts the brakes on that line of thinking, then continues, _"_I'm sorry things weren't different for you."

"Yeah, well. I have no one to blame but myself," Mark admits. "God, I was so pushy back then, you know? I couldn't help it. I'd think I know what's best, never taking her feelings or needs into consideration. I'd push and she'd run. We did that for so long, without ever actually **talking** to each other. Neither of us willing to be vulnerable with the other."

Mark backed away from Lexie's grave and starts walking further into the cemetery, he had another, smaller bouquet, but Arizona was so wrapped up in the thoughts that Mark's words had elicited, that she paid them no attention.

"I wasn't in a good place for a long time, and I didn't feel like I could share that with her," He finally continues as they slowly strolled through the cemetery. "I didn't think she could understand what I was going through. She didn't lose anything, you know? I did."

Arizona's stomach rolls at his words. The same words she's just spewed at Callie with so much anger. _But I didn't say that, not here. Not in this place._

"It took time and a lot of patience on her part, but when I finally did? When I finally let her **see** me? It was life changing. It was brilliant- perfection." He sighed, "Then she died."

Thinking back over Mark's words, something occurs to Arizona that makes her blood run cold. "What did you lose, Mark?" she desperately asks. _Please, God, no_.

He comes to a stop in front of a tiny headstone with a lamb on top, which simply read: **Baby Girl Sloan Torres**.

"My child."


	4. Chapter 4: Fate is a Bitch

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Note**: This is just a little diversion as we wait for the real aftermath to begin. Bring. It. Shonda. A knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Vengeance Demons, specifically, is helpful, but not necessarily required. Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.

**Note** **2**: **Warning: We are now getting to the REALLY UNPLEASANT part of the Wish!Verse**. **Remember, Vengeance Demons are like Genies or Shonda- you get what you ask for in the **_**worst possible way**_**.** Don't string me up just yet, two chapters of this, then we get the humorous conclusion. Again, I love Calzona, and all will be well, or at the very least, as good as Shonda left them…

**Note 3**: See** Note** **2 **and don't kill me. I promise this is the last chapter of doom.

* * *

"_After the doom of Atë and Hybris follows close upon the victim."_

_**Baby Girl Sloan Torres, **__she didn't even get her name. _Arizona's world turned on its axis. Her knees hit the ground hard and she lost her lunch. Retching and dry heaving until her throat was raw.

"Robbins, are you ok?"

"Mark, I… I'm not ok, this is not ok!" Arizona yells pointing toward the marker._ What have I done?_

"You _left_ Robbins, you dumped her. What happened between us after you were gone…" Mark said. "_You_ left her. You don't get to be mad."

_It's not about that._ _That's my baby. God, why? _Arizona continues to shed tears, sobs shaking her body, as she fights to regain control.

"She was so sad and broken," he explains, misinterpreting Arizona's tears, "and I comforted her in the only way I know how. Ok? That's it. She needed me and I was there for her. End of story." Mark said. "We didn't plan this, it took us both by surprise. Hell, Lex and I had just gotten back together, then Callie finds out she's pregnant…"

"What happened?" Arizona finally asks, after shoving her emotions back down into the black hole that had been distorting her since the crash. She tilts her head, indicating the gravestone, refusing to look at it.

Ignoring the question, Mark walked over to the headstone, placed the tiny bouquet of flowers in front, and trailed his hand along the name. He turned back to Arizona, and offered a hand up.

"I'm fine, Mark. I can get up." She refused, knowing it could pull him off balance.

"Let's head back to my car, where we can sit- and where it doesn't smell like your half-digested lunch."

* * *

Back at the car, Arizona has once again made use of Mark's glove box tissues, fervently wiping her tears, trying to hide her overwhelming grief from him. She's gotten good at hiding grief. _How do I explain? She's my baby too… I've got to get back, find that woman. She'll fix everything. She has to._

"Can you take me to the Archfield?" Arizona blurts.

"You looking to get lucky, Robbins? I thought you were a goldstar?" Mark jokes, but starts the car and heads out.

"What? How can you make jokes? Show some respect." She said, eyebrows raised, looking back toward the cemetery.

"Time heals. I've come to terms with my losses." Mark said. "Besides, when have you known me to pass up a chance to make an inappropriate joke? I'm still me."

At this Arizona looks at him with a bit of envy, "You are, aren't you?" She asks. "How? How did you not lose yourself with everything that has happened to you?"

"I have a really good therapist."

Arizona chuckles "You really believe that? That therapy works?"

"I know it does, Arizona." Mark said. "I'd be dead right now without it."

"Mark… don't…"

"No, I'm serious," Mark said. He shakes his head hesitantly and continues, "I don't know why I'm talking about this with you, frankly, it's none of your business, but…" He sighs, "After the plane crash, and losing Lexie… I was clinging to my leg like a lifeline. They wanted to amputate right away, but I wouldn't consent. I kept telling myself, if they save my leg, I'll be ok. I'll survive. I can do this, as long as I have my leg. But when they couldn't? When the infection got so bad that I crashed, and I woke up with my leg gone? I was done. I was finished. I'd lost everything and there was nothing left to live for. I knew when they sent me home, I was going to take my whole bottle of pain meds. Thinking that, kept me going in the hospital." He laughs, "Ironic, right? The fact that I was going to off myself, kept me going."

"What happened? I mean, I'm glad you didn't, but what stopped you?"

"Meredith. She could see it in my eyes. She's kind of dark, you know?" Mark said. "Anyway, she said I'd be letting Lexie and Callie down." Arizona's heart starts hammering in her chest at the mention of Callie - it was beating so loud, she almost missed the rest of what Mark was saying. "So she made me an appointment with a therapist, and here I am. Still alive and, although, I wouldn't say I'm happy, I've come to terms with my life."

"I'm glad, Mark." Arizona said.

"Me too, me too."

"Mark?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm ready to hear about Callie now." Arizona said, her voice almost a whisper.

"Then I'm ready to tell you." He parks the car and turns to look Arizona in the eyes. Returning his gaze, she sees a sympathy, which almost scares her.

Finally breaking eye contact, Arizona looks up, noticing they are at the hospital.

"Oh, this isn't the Archfield."

"I know, I'll take you there after."

"So… tell me about Calliope."

"I'm going to start at the beginning, when you left for Africa. Is that ok?" Mark asks. "Or do you want to just…"

"It's ok, Mark" Arizona said. "Whatever you are comfortable with."

Mark takes a minute to collect his thoughts, then he sighs and looks over at Arizona.

"I was jealous of you." He reveals, "You're all she could think about, all she talked about. God, it infuriated me."

Arizona felt a kind of perverse sense of pleasure at Mark's admission, but she remained silent- not wanting to break his discourse.

"She couldn't just be happy that we were having a baby. Lexie left me, but I was ecstatic, you know?" Mark continued, working himself up as he spoke. "I was going to be a dad! And you? You were nothing! You weren't even here!"

Arizona flinches at his anger, still sensitive to those words. _Except, here, I __**was**__ nothing._

"You left her in an airport and never looked back. Never even called." He shakes his head. "But she always held on to this little bit of hope." He holds up his thumb and index finger, indicating the tiny bit of hope Callie had.

"I know she dreamed of you coming back from Africa, telling her you couldn't live without her, that you'd be a mom with her." He scoffs. "But, _I_ knew better, you wouldn't raise my kid, I knew this. So we fought. We argued, and picked, and just made each other miserable. Every decision was a struggle. Then after about five months with no word from you, I think she finally got to a point where she could let you go. She finally started planning for the birth. She told me she was tired of the bickering and called a truce, bought us a weekend at a B&B just outside of town- separate rooms." Arizona closes her eyes, knowing what's coming she swallows hard, waiting for Mark to continue.

"She wanted us to come together and figure out how we were going to be parents jointly - without one of us killing the other." He sighs, "But we never made it up there." He finally looks over at Arizona, making sure he had her full attention. "I'm so, so... sorry. Sorry, for all the petty jealousy, I wasted so much time. It cost me so much."

"Mark, just tell me. Just say it," Arizona pleads.

"I was driving. She was messing with her phone, she had gotten an email- she always checked them," He gives a nod toward Arizona, "hoping for one from you. I just kept thinking we could be a real family, I loved Callie, we weren't actually together, and we may not have been in 'romantic' love, but there was definitely love there… so I grabbed her phone and tossed it in the back seat. She accused me of being jealous, which I denied. I could never admit that to her." He opens the car door, looking up at the sky, "Come on. Let's head in, it's about to start raining."

Mark continues as they make their way into the hospital. "So… she, uh, she unhooked her seatbelt to get the phone back… Then I, I asked her to marry me– just blurted it right out there, and this truck came out of nowhere." They stop at the elevator and Mark presses the 'up' button.

"She hadn't re-buckled her seatbelt, she went through the windshield." He said, as soon as they were in the elevator, thankfully alone.

Although, she knows her version of this story well, Arizona asks, "And, what happened next, Mark?" encouraging him to continue.

"It was bad, Arizona… Depressed skull fracture, her brain was bleeding… everything was bleeding. She, she lost so much blood…" He clears his throat. "She coded, right there on the table. Twice. So, I…" he swallows "They thought she might have a better chance if we delivered the baby, I told them to do what they had to, to save Callie. I, uh, thought…" He stops when the elevator dings for their floor. He exits the elevator, waves to the nurse at the station, and heads down the hall. Arizona follows him, not paying attention to where they were going.

"They took her via C, it was… She was so tiny. Karev, he tried. I know he tried everything, he just… He couldn't save her. Her heart wouldn't beat. There was nothing we could do. He couldn't get her tiny heart to beat."

Arizona chokes back a sob_. __**I have a heart-beat.**__ I got her heat to beat- it beat for me. Oh God, my baby. She needs me. _She starts to panic. "Mark. I need to go, I've… I've got to get out of here…" _I have to find that woman, she has to take me back…_

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, we're here. You can't leave now, not without seeing her." Mark points to the patient room in of him. Arizona looks around, finally registering where they are- the long-term care ward of the ICU. She turns back, looking through the glass into the patient room where Callie is hooked to a respirator and a feeding tube.

A garbled sob escapes Arizona's throat. _Oh, Calliope. What have I done?_

"Go ahead, talk to her." Mark takes Arizona's hand and leads her into the room. The steady beep of the heart monitor, and the quiet hiss of the respirator, filter into her mind. She let it dull her pain like a drug. _I can't. This is too much._

"Hey, Cal, look who's here? It's Arizona, back from gallantly saving countless African babies." Mark said, taking Callie's hand and putting it in Arizona's shaking one.

"Sometimes she'll move her hand when you talk to her." He continues, this time directed at Arizona. She looks at him, her eyes filling with tears, her heart hammering in her chest.

"She… she never woke up?" Arizona asks, tears running freely down her face.

"No. Derek fixed everything he could. They stopped the hemorrhaging, controlled her ICP, medically she's fine. They were sure she was going to come out of this. We would visit her every day- we talked to her, every day. Bailey still has her lunch in here sometimes. But I knew she wasn't coming back to us. Our baby died. You were gone. She had nothing to live for, nothing to wake up for."

Arizona pulls Callie's hand to her lips and places a gentle kiss on her knuckles, then rubbing them against her cheek.

"Ask her to live. Please?" Mark pleads, his normally stoic face breaking with emotion. "You're my last hope, ask her to live for you. She'll wake up for you. She's all I have left."

Arizona turns and hugs Mark with everything she had, they sob their grief onto each other's shoulders. Mark steps back from the hug, putting Arizona at arm's length. He grips her shoulders, pulls her back in and kisses her on the forehead. "I'll give you two some privacy." He quietly steps out of the room, and gently closes the door.

Arizona stares after Mark, trying to compose herself before turning back to Callie.

"Hey, it's me."


	5. Chapter 5: Mad Impulses

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Note**: This is just a little diversion as we wait for the real aftermath to begin. Bring. It. Shonda. A knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Vengeance Demons, specifically, is helpful, but not necessarily required. Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.

**Note** **2**: I think just one chapter left after this.

* * *

'_It is the god who accomplishes all things. Atë is the elder daughter of Zeus, the accursed who deludes all; her feet are delicate and they step not on the firm earth, but she walks the air above men's heads and leads them astray.'_

"Calliope? Sweetheart? I… don't know what to say. Uh, can you just… can you…" Arizona starts to do as Mark asked, then stops, her tears unshed- instead steeling her face with determination. "No. No, I'm not going to ask you to live for me. I'm going to fix this. This is all some crazy nightmare, ok? It's not real. You are safe and warm and snuggling our girl. I'm going to get out of here and come home to you. And, and… I don't care how mad at me you are about that, that… horrible thing I did. I'm going to make this right. All of it. I just, I've been so lost." Arizona continues, no longer talking to the woman lying in the hospital bed. Now addressing a different Callie, the one in her head and heart "I'm lost, Callie. So, so lost. I… I need you to find me. I need you to _see_ me, please." _Please help me._

She finally breaks down, leaning her forehead on the side of the bed and weeps. She weeps for the tiny baby she wasn't here to save. She weeps for this Callie, lying here in this bed. She weeps for _her_ Callie, her wife, and all the pain she caused. She weeps for herself and her loss- finally letting loose this all-consuming grief she's felt since the plane crash.

After shedding so many tears she could feel the dampness on the scratchy hospital sheet that covered her love, Arizona sniffles and looks back up at Calliope. _I'll fix this. I promise._

"You'll forget. Eventually." A familiar voice declares.

Arizona jumps and turns around to see the woman from the bar standing in Callie's room. "Jesus! Where did you come from?"

"My name isn't Jesus, it is Anya. Which, you would know if you'd actually let me introduce myself last night. I did meet him once, though, he loved a good red with dinner."

Arizona just stands there for a moment, shocked speechless.

Anya continues, "Anyway, as I was saying, you'll forget your three years, slowly the memories of what happened here will replace them. It's already started hasn't it?"

_The interns whose names I can't remember…_ "I don't want to forget, I want to go back." Arizona said, finally finding her voice.

Continuing as if Arizona hadn't even spoken, Anya said. "It's part of our new Compassionate Vengeance Initiative, it's kind of like Compassionate Conservatism- it doesn't really change anything, but it appears… kinder."

"I… I said… I want to go back." Arizona repeats, still a little wary of this… this woman? _What is she?_

"You can't. And I'm a Vengeance Demon." Anya replies

"You can read my mind?" Arizona asks.

"Oh, no, not at all. Though, that'd make my job a lot easier. I've just been doing this a loooong time, well, off and on, for a long time. Everyone always asks what I am. Except those who purposefully call me, and I'm pretty sure you aren't one of those. I was saving you the trouble of asking."

"What is a Vengeance Demon?" Arizona asks. Then, finding her anger, yells "This can't be real!"

"It's real. We exact vengeance, by granting wishes, take it easy, Arizona." Anya replies. "How these wishes play out, are beyond our control. Your wish was an interesting one, it created an alternate universe- and those are pretty rare."

"I, I don't like this place, I want to go back. Please? I just want to go back and make things right." Arizona begs.

"You can't go back. You made a life altering wish. You got what you wanted, you are free of them." Anya points toward the lifeless form on the hospital bed

"NO!" Arizona desperately yells, "No. No, don't' say that. That is _**not**_ what I wanted… I wanted _her_ free. I wanted them free. Free of _me_."

"And obviously that didn't work out very well for her. Where's your child?"

"Oh god, she's de..." Arizona stops, not able to say the word. "My baby is gone, I… I wasn't here to save her. Please, please take me back. You have to take me back. I'm begging you, I'll do anything. I… I have money, I can give you money."

"The offer is tempting- really tempting, actually- and honestly, I feel for you, but I have to decline. The rules are the rules. You wished, no take backs."

"Can I make another wish? Wish I never wished?"

"No, that loophole got closed about 900 years ago. Fool me once, you know?"

Arizona breaks down in tears again. "This can't be real, this is all so crazy… or maybe I'm the one that's crazy." She closes her eyes and whispers, "Please."

"I really am sorry about your daughter." Anya extends sincerely. "This is why I usually like to wreak my vengeance upon men. I feel less sympathy towards them." She pauses, "There is one solace I can offer you. I can make you forget right now. Instead of losing the memories slowly over time, I can take them, and replace them with the ones from this universe."

Arizona freaks out at the mention of losing her memories. If that's all she got, she's keeping them. "No, no…"

"Who knows? Maybe this person you cheated with is like, your girlfriend in this universe. Something obviously attracted you to her. Maybe you'll be happy when I get with the mind wiping?"

This enrages Arizona, "I. Never. Want. To. See. Lauren Boswell. Again." she spews through gritted teeth.

"Well, then let's hope for your sake… Wait. What did you say her name was?"

"Uh, what? Why do you…"

"Her name. What was it?" Anya asked, with an edge to her voice.

"Um, Lauren. Lauren Boswell… Why do you..?"

"Dammit! Atë! Get in here. I'd recognize one your aliases anywhere!" Anya waits, when nothing happens, she continues. "Don't make me call D'Hoffryn."

With an audible 'pop' Lauren Boswell, though dressed and styled differently, appears right next to Anya.

"Anyanka. So nice to see you." She said. Then, turning to Arizona with an unashamed look on her face. "Arizona, it's really, _really_ good to see _you_ again." Then turning toward the bed. "Oh, look at poor Callie, how sad." As she feigns a frown.

"Don't you dare look at her." Arizona shrieks as she lunges toward Lauren.

"Arizona, no." Anya steps in between the two women, holding up a hand, to stop Arizona's assault. "Don't engage." Then addressing the newcomer Anya sighs. "Atë, what did you do?"

"I had a little fun, Anya. What do I always…"

"Wait." Arizona interrupts, "Atë, as in the Greek Goddess of mischief?"

"Oh, wow, I'm impressed. Smart _and_ sexy." Atë said.

"I'm kind of impressed too." Anya grins. "But I don't think you are sexy. Well, a little bit sexy, but I like man shaped bodies." She pauses, then adds, "For the record."

"My wife is named after a muse, I did a little research. You know, trying to… impress her with my knowledge." Arizona said.

"Back when you cared." Atë smirks.

"Hey! I still care… I love her. I'm _in_ love with her. You don't know me. You don't know anything about me." Arizona rages.

"Hmm, maybe it was her," Atë said, pointing toward Callie "That didn't care."

"That's not true, she loves me." Arizona insists, less sure.

"…it doesn't change the fact that you were in **pain**, and she couldn't hear it. I could hear you **crying out** _everywhere_ I went in this town. It was unbearable. And she didn't know." Atë responds.

"I hate to interrupt this lovely discourse, but…" Anya said, pointing at Atë. "You got demoted! Your dad, _Zeus_, tossed you off of Mt. Olympus, right onto your ass. I've seen the ancient pottery where it's depicted." She sides to Arizona, then continues. "You are a vengeance demon now, not the Greek goddess of make-people-do-stupid-things-on-the-spur-of-the-mo ment anymore. We in the vengeance business have rules, and standards. You used your powers to muddle her thinking, you took advantage of her trauma and led her to commit a reckless act. With _YOU_, no less!"

"Oh, Anyanka, I heard you'd gone soft," Atë sneers. "I guess the rumors were true. And here I tried to defend you at the last company pot-luck. I was _just_ having some fun."

"No, no, no. This is not about being soft. Or having fun! We don't do this for fun, _this_ is our job. This is about following a set of rules that have been around for thousands of years. You can't just come into the vengeance fold, fresh from a disastrous stint as a goddess, and think you don't have to follow the same procedures as the rest of us. The vengeance handbook is very clear on this: you absolutely can't _be_ reason they had to wish. That's why you didn't get called, it jumped to me. And now I've unknowingly been complicit in an illegal act of vengeance. We freaking created an _illegal_ alternate universe, Atë. Darkest timeline stuff. Do you know how much trouble we can get into for this? The last time I created an alternate universe I lost my power source."

"Well, technically _YOU_ created an illegal alternate universe." Atë sneers.

"Don't blame me, you snobby, snotty, thinks she's so great, but really she's disgraced, goddess." Anya sighs. "I'm going to have to undo everything. I _hate_ undoing everything. It's difficult and time consuming. It's extra work, which I don't get compensated for. God. Amateurs!"

Arizona stands there frozen, not knowing how to react to all this new information, but one thing is for sure… She's seeing a shrink if she ever gets her life back.

"Just get out of here, Atë. I'll clean up your mess, but you are filing all the paperwork. And when D'Hoffryn finds out? You are probably going to get another demotion, lose your powers, and get stuck as a human. You'll have to spend the rest of your natural life as a _wispy home wrecker with questionable morals._"

"Anyanka, can't we keep this off the books? No one needs to know... Please." Atë implores, horrified at the idea of being human. Both Anya and Arizona take pleasure at Atë's distress.

"Well, I'll think about it." Anya finally replied. "Just get out of here, you've done enough damage to this woman's life."

Atë disappears without another word.

Anya turns to Arizona, who has been quietly observing everything, and smiles. "I am _totally_ going to rat her out to D'Hoffryn. Bitch. This is good news. She broke the rules, I can send you back."

For what seems like the umpteenth time today Arizona breaks down into tears. "Thank you so much. Just, thank you." She grabs Anya and hugs her.

"Oh, hugging. Ok, I… I can hug." Anya awkwardly pats Arizona on the shoulder, then finally relinquishing to the hug. "I do have a bit of bad news though."

Arizona looks up at Anya, the tears of joy still glistening in her eyes, and asks. "What? What's the bad news?"

Anya hesitates for a second, then finally states. "Atë broke the rules of vengeance, but she didn't force you. She clouded your judgment and caused you to act recklessly, but _you_ still made the choice to lose control. _You_ cheated. _You_ betrayed your wife. Something in _you_ made that decision. You're avoiding something, and clearly I don't need to tell you, but keeping stuff inside because you are afraid to confront it- well it can come back and bite you in the ass."

"I know I messed up, I know." Arizona said. "But… can't you just…"

"The handbook states I'm supposed to take you back to the moment of the wish. No wiggle room. But, _apparently_, I have a soft spot for lesbians. Stupid Willow and Tara." Anya grumbles, and continues, "Their lesbian death cliché is your gain. I'll erase the cheating, but you need to look into why you were susceptible. Ok? Don't make this all for nothing. _If you need help, all you have to do is ask._ And keep an eye on that daughter of yours, this second chance at life bodes well- I foresee a special destiny for her."

Anya's face starts to change into her vengeance form, but she stops the change and reverts back to her human face.

"By the way, this hospital sits on a Hellmouth embryo. It's not fully formed, so it doesn't attract the really evil stuff. Vengeance and mischief type demons mostly- my friend Halfrek _loved_ this place, she even assumed a long-term identity here for a while, Cyndi… or Sydney… something like that- anyway, lots of crappy things _will_ happen. You should probably move."

At that her face changes again and everything goes white.


	6. Chapter 6: Sweet Release

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing, I want nothing, it all belongs to people more important than me.

**Summary**: In the aftermath of the Perfect Storm, Arizona goes a little bonkers. Things happen- bad things- can she make it all right again? Or is she doomed to a life of loneliness.

**Note**: This is just a little diversion as we wait for the real aftermath to begin. Bring. It. Shonda. A knowledge of Buffy the Vampire Slayer- Vengeance Demons, specifically, is helpful, but not necessarily required. Remember, none of this is real- either IRL or on the show. Don't get upset at the bad things I do because, spoiler alert- I love a happy ending.

**Note 2**: This is it, last chapter. *Re-posting after fixing.

* * *

_Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head. (I miss you, miss you.)_

Arizona jolts awake, sitting up in panic. Looking around, she realizes she's on the couch in their apartment, covered in the familiar dark plaid blanket, but not knowing when, or how, she got here. She calls out, "Callie! Callie, where are you?"

Callie walks out of the bedroom, coffee cup in hand. _Thank God._ "Oh, hey. You're up." She's wearing her pinkish silk and lace nightgown, and salmon colored silk robe. "When did you end up out here? Is the phantom pain back?"

"Oh, uh….I… I'm not sure…" Arizona stutters, confused._ Good question_. "Callie, I think I…"

Just then, a little blur in footy pajamas comes flying from their bedroom, straight into Arizona's arms.

"Oh, baby." Arizona sighs. She wraps her tight, inhaling her sweet baby sent. She places kisses all over her chubby little face, and as her eyes start to leak tears of joy, she bursts into relieved laughter.

Sofia giggles, "Potty, Momma."

Wiping her tears, Arizona's smile almost breaks her face. "You did? That's awesome, Big Girl!"

"Well, she didn't actually go, but she did sit there for a while this time." Callie answers for Sofia. Noticing Arizona's tears, "Hey, are you ok?"

"I don't know. I, uh, I had the weirdest dream. I think." Arizona's brow furrows, trying hard to figure out what was real and what wasn't._ Was it a dream?_ _It couldn't have been, it felt so __**real.**_

Callie sits her cup on the end table next to the couch, and bends down to kiss Arizona on top of the head. She grabs Sofia up from Arizona's lap and heads back to the kitchen. "Let me grab her some cereal, and get you some coffee, then you can tell me all about it."

* * *

"Callie?" Arizona uneasily prods her wife. "Tell me what you are thinking."

"I'm thinking I'm going to go into that hospital today and punch that bitch in her slimy, overly flirty, home wrecking face."

Arizona reaches over and grabs Callie's face, pulling her in for a kiss. "I was feeling flattered, and had a crazy dream. Believe me, Lauren Boswell is not a threat to you." _Not anymore._

"But, you have to perform surgery with her today." Callie pouts "And you've, apparently, seen dream-her naked. That makes me…" Before Callie could finish her sentence, the phone rings, interrupting her.

While Callie gets up to take the call, Arizona tries to make sense of everything. _Maybe it __**was**__ all just a dream. That crazy vengeance demon stuff. What was I thinking? I'm going to go into that hospital today and perform this surgery like a professional, and Lauren Boswell is not Atë, the Greek goddess of 'delusion, infatuation, blind folly, rash action and reckless impulse'. _She chuckles to herself, shaking her head. _I can't believe Callie googled that… How could I even entertain the thought, that it was anything other than a dream?_

"Well, that was Owen." Callie said. "The storm is coming in pretty fast, he wants all hands on deck. He also said we should pack a bag for staying over."

_Just like in my dream… But this time, I'll make the right choice._

"One other thing." Callie said to Arizona with a slight smirk.

"What?"

"Your surgery is postponed. Apparently, Dr. Inappropriately-Friendly, bugged-out last night in advance of the storm. Owen said she told him that she wasn't needed, that she'd been recalled by her boss, and that you and Avery could handle it yourself, but he felt with the storm coming, that you should push it, and prepare for emergent cases."

"Wow. I was not expecting that."

"What? Your dream girl leaving?" Callie said with a mischievous smile.

"Calliope, don't tease me. It was all very emotionally devastating."

"Please, Arizona you had goddesses, and demons, and a Hellmouth? What is a Hellmouth?" Callie scoffs. "It's all kind of _insane_."

"Hey, _you_ had everyone singing and performing surgery on you! Don't judge." Arizona snaps.

"_I_ had a traumatic brain injury, Arizona." Callie knocks Arizona's example.

"And I have post-traumatic stress, Callie!"

"What? No, you don't" Callie denies.

Callie dismisses her suspicions, again, and Arizona starts to feel that sharp stab of anger poking at her- creeping in, overtaking the relief she felt upon seeing her girls. _Why can't she just see me? Why won't she help me…? _

Atë's words ring in her ears _"it doesn't change the fact that you were in __**pain**__, and she couldn't hear it. I could hear you __**crying out **__everywhere__ I went in this town. It was unbearable. And she didn't know."_

"You're fine, Arizona. You're just little stressed, that's all…"

"Callie, STOP! I need you to just stop, and listen to me. Ok? I need you to _**SEE**_ me!" Arizona yells. "Please, please, see me." She starts breathing heavy, almost hyperventilating. Fuming with the same anger she felt at Callie the night of the storm, when they argued in the lounge. _But … Did that happen?_

Sofia starts to whine, sensing the tension suddenly filling the room, she climbs into Arizona's lap.

"Ok, sweetheart, calm down. I see you. I see you, I promise."

"You don't, Callie. You don't _see_ that I'm in _pain_!" Arizona accuses, the sudden wave of anger dissipating, leaving her feeling wilted. Putting her arm around Sofia, incapable of articulating her needs Arizona begs, "Callie, please."

Suddenly remembering Anya's words…_ If you need help, all you have to do is ask._ "Help me, please. I need you to help me."

Callie wraps her up in her strong arms, allowing Arizona to release her emotions. _All I've done for two days is cry._

"Hey, I've got you." Callie soothes. Running her hand across Arizona's hair. "I've got you, ok? I see you. I see you. I'll help you, I promise. Just tell me what hurts, Arizona. Just tell me, and I'll help you." She pulls back from the hug, taking Arizona's tear streaked face in her hands and looks into her eyes. "Ok? Just tell me what hurts."

"My head, and my heart." Arizona replies in a whisper.

"Then we'll get you some help for your head, and your heart." Callie replies softly, kissing her again.

"Thank you, Callie." They stare into each other's eyes and smile, until Arizona finally scrunches up her face. "I… I need to get up. I _really_ have to go the bathroom. Where… Where are my crutches?"

"In the bedroom, with your leg- I nearly tripped over them taking Sof to the bathroom this morning."

"Ok… Then, how did I get out here?"

"Huh."

* * *

After standing and listening to Owen's speech about the storm. Again. _My dream was surprisingly prescient. _Arizona bids farewell to her wife, and seeks out Alex so they can start prepping for the storm.

"Karev!" Arizona yells, trying to catch him before he gets too far away. He stops and waits for her catch up to him, when she does they resume course without her breaking stride. "I want you to check all the batteries in the NICU, make sure they are all charged and ready to go. If we don't have back-ups call medical supply and get them in here this afternoon, before the storm hits. We don't want lose power and not have back-up, believe me."

"Ok, I'll do it, but..." Alex responds, "We do have generators, you know."

"Just, trust me on this one, Alex." Arizona said "We want to be prepared for any and all outcomes. We don't want the tiny human makers panicking."

"Sure thing, boss. I'll get right on it."

Arriving at peds, Arizona starts toward her office, and Alex walks off toward the NICU. Unlocking her door, and twisting the nob, she remembers something, turns to back to him, "Hey, Alex! Stop being a wuss and tell that intern that you love her." Karev's surprise is all over his face, his mouth opening and closing, like a fish out of water, causing Arizona to smile, dimples popping, as she heads into her office. She closes the door and bursts into laughter, finally starting to feel the joy.

* * *

The Perfect Storm is still thundering outside, but the worst is over. Arizona and Callie lie on the makeshift bed in the attending's lounge, Sofia snuggled in tight between them. Her soft toddler snores filling the room. Arizona can't stop looking at her, running her hand over her soft silky hair. Arizona sighs deeply.

"Tell me what you're thinking, sweetheart?" Callie asks gently. Grabbing Arizona's hand, stopping her from stroking Sofia's head, and bringing it to her lips for a tender kiss.

"I'm thinking…" Arizona said, with a reverent smile, "That I'm glad I got a second chance at this day, that I didn't ruin everything by losing control with that… that woman."

"Arizona, that didn't happen. You know that, right? It was just a dream."

"No, I know. I think. It… it just felt so real, Callie. So real."

"Ok, so where do we go from here?"

"I think it's time I dealt with my trauma. I think I need a therapist."

* * *

A few days later, Callie sits in the waiting room of Dr. Wyatt's office as Arizona has her first session with the psychiatrist. She's nervously fidgeting, causing the receptionist to look at her with a scowl.

"Sorry." Callie said sheepishly. She picks up a magazine and tries to read it, but can't seem to concentrate. Arizona told her she didn't need to stay, that she would find her after, but Callie insisted. Now she's having second thoughts- a loud rumble from her stomach, seals the deal. "Excuse me?" Callie said to the receptionist, who sighs and looks up from her computer again. "Could you tell my wife, uh, Dr. Robbins, I went down to grab a snack from the coffee cart?"

"Sure," the receptionist replies, this time with a smile, she'll finally get some work done with Callie's nervous fidgeting out of the room.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the door- after forty-five minutes of Arizona recounting the dream she had, she anxiously awaits Dr. Wyatt's response.

"I thought we were here to talk about your experience with the plane crash and the aftermath of that?"

"Well, sure… we can do that, maybe… uh, next week, but that dream was weird, right? I mean, it was so real. Have you ever heard anything like that? Vengeance demons and Hellmouths?"

"No, Arizona, I can honestly say, I've never heard of any of that."

"So, what do you think?"

"Well, I think your dream allowed you to play out a fantasy that you thought you wanted. But you didn't, you see? That's not what you want. Your mind wouldn't allow you the happiness you were seeking by running, because subconsciously, you know that's not what you want to do. You were seeking an escape from the pain, and you were placing the blame on the wrong things." Dr. Wyatt said.

Arizona listens to Dr. Wyatt, absorbing what she is saying, but she's still a bit skeptical. _It was so freaking real._

Dr. Wyatt continues, "Let's put the dream aside, for now, and get to the real reason you are here. You experienced a very traumatic event and lost a part of yourself, both physically and mentally. That's what we need to focus on. Ok?"

"Yes, ok. I guess I'm ready. I want you to help me figure this all out, I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm tired of feeling angry…" Arizona said, then added timidly, "and blaming Callie."

"Arizona, what you feel is normal – expected even, but it's not healthy. You can't hold onto blame and anger. You need to forgive your wife, yourself, the universe, God… You need to let go of the anger, so you can be free. It won't happen overnight, and it may sneak back up on you from time to time, but this is a good start. Asking for help is the first step in regaining control, and part of being in control is accepting the things you **can't** control. Allowing someone else to help is good, do you think you can do that?" Dr. Wyatt said.

Arizona takes a deep breath, then opens her mouth, as if to speak, but nothing comes out.

"Ok, how about we finish up for today, and when you come back, we'll get into the deep stuff. We'll get you sorted, Arizona, I promise. How does that sound?"

"It sounds… hopeful."

* * *

Feeling pretty good about her first session with Dr. Wyatt, Arizona goes in search of her wife. She finds her at the coffee cart in the hospital lobby, talking to a woman who looks inexplicably like Anya. _Oh. My. God._

"Callie!" She yells, in somewhat of a panic, hoping to stop Callie before she opens that beautiful mouth and makes a wish. She heads in their direction, as fast as she can walk.

Callie looks up, sees Arizona, smiles a giant smile, and heads towards her. "Hey, how did it go?"

"Callie, who was that woman you were talking with?"

"Oh, that was Ann Jenkins, her company just bought out the chain that owns the coffee carts. She's the regional manager for all of the Pacific Northwest, she was on her way out, but she said she'll be popping in, from time to time."

She peeks around Callie's shoulder in the direction of the coffee cart, Anya gives her a wink, then heads through the lobby and out of the hospital. "That was Anya, from my 'dream.'" Arizona said, using finger-quotes around the word dream, because now she's not so sure anymore.

"What? No. You must have seen her around and just incorporated her into your dream." Callie scoffs.

"Did you just scoff at me?"

"Um…, no?" Callie said, eyebrows raised, smiling her biggest 'I'm innocent' grin. "She was really nice, she gave me this- said we'd enjoy it." She holds up a magazine, titled: _**The National Journal of Hospital Chatter.**_

"What is that, like a gossip magazine for hospitals?" Arizona asks.

"I have no idea." Callie said, as she reaches into her bag and pulls out a pastry.

"Just for the record- you didn't make any wishes, did you?" Arizona warily asks.

"I wished for this pumpkin scone." Callie answers, raising the scone to her mouth, out of nowhere it flies from her hand, having been smacked away by her wife. "What the hell, Arizona? I was hungry!"

"I'm not taking any chances." Arizona warns, "Besides, you know I hate pumpkin scones…" She continues, her concerned look turning mischievous. "I'm not kissing you with pumpkin breath."

Arizona leans in and takes her kiss, a simple peck, but full of love. _Who needs a goddess or a demon, when I've got my very own muse?_

"Come on, let's go get our girl."

* * *

Later that night, as Arizona sits propped against the headboard, Callie in the bathroom, brushing her teeth and rambling about her day, she pulls out the magazine that 'Ann' gave Callie. _Heh, I finger-quoted that in my head._ She chuckles, and opens it to a random page. Her eyes widen in shock as she comprehends the headline: **Prominent Doctor's Fall From Grace.**

"Callie, there is an article in here, about Lauren Boswell!"

"Really, what has Dr. McShady been up to?" Callie asks around the toothbrush still in her mouth. "Did she perfect some ground-breaking surgical technique?"

"She had an affair with the wife of the Chief of Staff at Mt. Olympus Hospital, in Cleveland, who then implicated her in an illegal clinical trial. She's been suspended from practicing medicine, she may lose her license!" Exclaims Arizona. _Anya __**did**__ tattle_.

"Oh, my god. I don't even know how to respond to that."

"I do." Arizona replies, with a smile, tossing the magazine across the room, "Come to bed."

**END**


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